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Post by Please Delete on May 23, 2010 21:16:08 GMT -5
For a bit of fun, here's the top half of a poem. I challenge others to see the pattern and complete as appropriate  Two mandarin ducks Awaiting their companions Note the passing time, -Ii |
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Post by oravainen on May 24, 2010 14:35:11 GMT -5
Two mandarin ducks
Awaiting their companions
Note the passing time,
stillness turns to impatience.
Yearning to fly like the hours.
E: That would've been just too simple... I should have known it was above me ;D
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Post by Please Delete on May 24, 2010 20:39:37 GMT -5
I love your imagery, but it isn't quite what I was going for. I should have perhaps mentioned a bit more: this is a tanka style that was mentioned by either Murasaki Shikibu or Sei Shonagon, I forget which, when an emperor composed a poem and asked for responses. A hint, though: the words of the poem have less to do than the structure.
Another top line that might help, as it could take more or less the same answer. I'm playing with what you can do with tanka or renga outside of the regular responsorial style:
Too many secrets
Are found right up at the front,
Not hidden in words
-Ii
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Post by Otagiri Tatsuzou on Jul 31, 2010 1:19:30 GMT -5
Two mandarin ducks
Awaiting their companions
Note the passing time,
Adjusting too tight collars
Totalling their bills
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Post by Otagiri Tatsuzou on Jul 31, 2010 17:52:17 GMT -5
Doh! Wrong pattern!
Two mandarin ducks
Awaiting their companions
Note the passing time,
Killing the quiet seconds,
As only the lonely can
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Saionji Shonagon
New Member
One dreamed of becoming somebody. Another remained awake and became. (Found in a fortune cookie.)
Posts: 7,240
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Post by Saionji Shonagon on Jul 31, 2010 17:56:38 GMT -5
 Most Honorable Moderator, where have you BEEN?  ? We've missed you!
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Post by Otagiri Tatsuzou on Jul 31, 2010 17:59:20 GMT -5
Here. There.
Calculating the passage of the sun.
Weighing columns of the air.
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Saionji Shonagon
New Member
One dreamed of becoming somebody. Another remained awake and became. (Found in a fortune cookie.)
Posts: 7,240
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Post by Saionji Shonagon on Jul 31, 2010 18:02:40 GMT -5
Er, I mean,
A breeze off the bay
Stirs the dry summer grasses
With a quiet sigh.
As summer stretches ahead
Such moments are most welcome.
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Post by Otagiri Tatsuzou on Jul 31, 2010 18:19:57 GMT -5
<snips his poem>
Sad. I once possessed some subtlelty.
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Saionji Shonagon
New Member
One dreamed of becoming somebody. Another remained awake and became. (Found in a fortune cookie.)
Posts: 7,240
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Post by Saionji Shonagon on Jul 31, 2010 18:29:56 GMT -5
<snip by editor who won't listen to such nonsense from you >
Look at that. Here for less than a day and already I'm abusing my power. -otagiri 
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Post by solveig on Jul 31, 2010 20:44:30 GMT -5
Otagiri dono!
Greetings from Solveig! Will I be pulling your pony tail again this Pennsic?
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Saionji Shonagon
New Member
One dreamed of becoming somebody. Another remained awake and became. (Found in a fortune cookie.)
Posts: 7,240
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Post by Saionji Shonagon on Jul 31, 2010 20:47:21 GMT -5
"A spanking! A spanking!" Or is it "Help! I'm being oppressed!"
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Most Honorable Moderator, where have you BEEN?
? We've missed you!
